Warmth and Connection

10 Scents to Make Your Home More Inviting | Family Warmth | Making Memories | Home & Family Fragrance

~ Carole Marie ~ Leave a comment

Do you want your home to be a place of warmth and good memories? A place to anticipate love and belonging? Consider the five senses – sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell. They all affect your overall feel and memories of a home. The right atmosphere can ease tensions, encourage rest, and lift your mood.

Soothing scents go a long way in creating a peaceful, relaxing, and welcoming atmosphere. But having a home with an inviting aroma takes effort and intention.

When the aroma of baking bread is in the air, I’m immediately taken back to a childhood memory. When I was ten years old, we lived in a house that had a steep hill right behind it. My brothers and I would grab our sleds and race to Lovelock Hill on snowy days. We would sled for hours in the freezing temperatures with neighborhood friends. By the time we returned home, we were exhausted, cold, and very hungry. And when we opened the door, we would be greeted by the scent of homemade bread that my mom would have waiting for us.

We would sit by the crackling fire with a mug of hot chocolate and a huge slice of crusty bread with the soft insides, slathered with butter and honey, warming us up from the inside out.

My mom could have been doing anything while we were gone for hours. Yet, she intentionally chose to take the time and effort to create a welcoming and cozy home for us to return to.

I love having those memories. And I want to create pleasant memories of home like this for my children.

One of my favorite books about creating an environment of love in your home is Family Fragrance, by J. Otis and Gail Ledbetter. This is what they have to say about scent:

The more prominent senses like sight and sound get greater press than the others. But it might surprise you to know that the sense of smell is the vanguard of the senses. Think of it! Whatever we cannot see, taste, touch, or hear is recognized and interpreted through our noses. There are only three genes in each cell that control eyesight, but one thousand genes in each cell control the sense of smell. Experts say that the nose can differentiate between a thousand aromas. As the most direct sense, it can immediately enter the inner core of the brain, which governs emotions.

Fragrance in the home implants memories that our brains return to over and over. Another scent that brings me back to childhood? Fresh linens on the bed. My mom would dry our sheets on a clothesline in the hot sun. I remember snuggling into bed at night as a kid, falling asleep to the sunny scent of summer on the sheets. Ahhh… I smile now, just thinking about it.

There are many ways that aroma can make our homes more pleasant while instilling warmth and a sense of comfort and belonging. If you’d like to create a home so inviting that you and your family can’t wait to get inside when you pull into the driveway, consider these ten scents that can make your home feel more welcoming and impart good memories:

1. Freshly Baked Goods

  • Cookies – Whenever I’m baking cookies, the kids come running from their rooms with anticipation of a hot, delicious treat. Cookies also make for a quick and easy dessert to serve to guests – both children and adults.
  • Cinnamon rolls – My mom taught me how to make cinnamon rolls at a young age, and I remember those happy moments in the kitchen with her and the intoxicating scents of yeasty dough mixed with cinnamon and butter.
  • Bread – Homemade bread is the ultimate comfort food! We never tire of having a variety of scratch-made breads with our meals.

2. Essential Oils

Aromatherapy can naturally reduce stress and anxiety, prompting your brain to engage in a state of calm. My favorite essential oils are lavender, cedarwood, lemon, chamomile, sandalwood, jasmine, and ylang-ylang.

3. Scented Candles

It’s easy to create a relaxed mood and memorable moments by lighting candles. Every Christmas eve, my family dines by candlelight. The soft light adds beauty and warmth, while the scent of vanilla is pleasing. Even a simple meal is more special and memorable when eaten by candlelight.

One of my favorite candles is the wood wick candles in a jar. They produce the soothing sound of a crackling fire and are available in a variety of luscious scents.

4. Bouquets of Fresh Flowers

One of my favorite spring and summer activities is planting seeds and growing a flower garden. It adds to the beauty of the backyard, creates a gorgeous space, and the scent is divine. The most fragrant flowers that I enjoy are jasmine, lavender, lilacs, and daphne. Plant these with colorful, easy-to-care-for flowers like marigolds, zinnias, and sunflowers. They are steps away to cut and create a beautiful bouquet for indoors that fills a room with its pleasant aroma.

5. Meals that are Cooking

The scent of your favorite meal cooking can create feelings that make you feel cared for and loved. You eagerly anticipate dining at the table with loved ones to enjoy the mouth-watering taste and experience the comfort of good food together.

6. Fire in the Hearth

A crackling fire is always cozy and welcoming. Especially with wood that smells pleasant while it’s burning. Great-smelling firewoods are birch, apple, pine, cherry, and cedar. (Make sure your wood is fully seasoned.) Some woods burn faster than others (e.g., pine is a softwood that smells wonderful when it’s burning but won’t last long), so you want to combine fast-burning wood with long-burning hardwood like maple or oak to keep the comfy smells and heat going all night.

7. Drinks

Good drinks tantalize the senses.

  • Hot drinks can comfort the soul. Some favorite aromas come from coffee, hot chocolate, eggnog, hot apple cider, herbal teas, and gourmet coffees. 
  • Cold drinks are refreshing on a hot day, and it’s easy to make them scented with slices of lemon or sprigs of fresh mint.

8. Spices and Herbs

Fresh herbs are amazingly flavorful and add wonderful scents to home-cooked meals, as well as your home garden. Fresh herbs have powerful health benefits, are full of vitamins, can help boost your immune system, and emit an incredible fragrance.

  • I like adding rosemary sprigs to the bouquets in my home. The rosemary provides an aroma of freshness.
  • Cinnamon always smells wonderful in foods that are baking in the oven.
  • My family enjoys adding freshly picked basil to our homemade pizzas for flavor and the pleasing taste.

9. Popcorn

When my kids smell popcorn popping, they know it’s time for a family movie and snuggling on the couch!

10.  Citrus

Fresh cut citrus releases a vibrant scent that awakens the senses. Cut oranges for a snack, put lemon slices in water, or squeeze oranges for fresh juice.

As you intentionally ensure your family experiences home through the five senses, you create lasting memories. Having an atmosphere where family members and guests feel at peace, and want to linger and experience the homey delights of comfort, is a place they’ll long to return to time after time.

Making Giant Gingerbread Men for Christmas | Hospitality in the Home | Holiday Traditions

~ Carole Marie ~ Leave a comment

In the sixteenth century, Queen Elizabeth of England wanted cakes spiced with ginger to be baked in the shapes of her friends. Since then, gingerbread men have been a popular holiday treat for households and as gifts to those we care about.

Early December, we have an annual Christmas tradition of baking gingerbread men – but we make them GIANT! They are about the size of a dinner plate and are so fun to decorate that every year we invite friends over for a party.

Each guest receives their own freshly-baked giant gingerbread man on parchment paper. They are instructed to cover the soft gingerbread with vanilla icing as a base. In the center of the table we provide a plethora of candies to decorate the iced gingerbread men.  We listen to Christmas music, turn on the Christmas lights and make it a festive and memorable time for all.

Our favorite decorative toppings are:

  • Chocolate chips
  • Licorice/Twizzlers
  • M&Ms (both with and without peanuts)
  • Skittles
  • Gummy worms
  • Gum drops
  • Sour Patch Kids
  • Jelly beans
  • Caramel bits
  • Mini marshmallows
  • Sprinkles

To make your own giant gingerbread men from scratch, use the recipe below. Once the dough is mixed, roll about a 1/4 inch thick on a floured surface.

Print this template. Cut out the shape, then place it over the rolled dough. Using a knife, carefully cut the dough around the template. Peel the paper template away (save it for the next gingerbread man), then use a spatula to move your gingerbread figure to a cookie sheet.

Once the gingerbread men are baked, remove them from the cookie sheet. Once cool, stack them between squares of parchment paper until you are ready to decorate them.

It’s always fun to see the final results – we’ve ended up with our gingerbread men looking like celebrities, zombies, fairy tale characters, the president and more. It’s so easy, and it’s a great reason to have lots of friends over to celebrate the Christmas season!

Print Recipe

Gingerbread Men

Ingredients

  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup butter
  • 1 1/2 cups molasses
  • 2/3 cup cold water
  • 7 cups white flour
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp ground allspice
  • 1 tsp ground cloves
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon

Instructions

  • Mix brown sugar, softened butter, molasses and water. Stir in remaining ingredients.
  • Heat oven to 350. Grease cookie sheet lightly. Roll dough 1/4 inch thick on a floured surface. Cut into desired shapes. Place on cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes. Let cool. Decorate.
    Makes approximately ten giant gingerbread men.

Tips for Celebrating Advent with Kids | Holiday Traditions | Warmth & Connection in the Home

~ Carole Marie ~ Leave a comment

Years ago when my two daughters were preschool age, I was on the hunt for new holiday traditions with the intent of giving my children a deeper understanding of the true meaning of Christmas.

I didn’t celebrate Advent while growing up, so after learning about it from our church, decided this was a beautiful way for our family to honor Christ’s birth.

The word advent simply means ‘coming’. When we celebrate advent, we think about the time when Jesus came to earth as a baby, as well as when He will come again to take those who love Him to heaven.

Advent is observed the four weeks before Christmas, as well as Christmas Day. Each week a candle is lit and each candle represents a significant part of Advent.

1st week: The Prophecy candle. This candle symbolizes hope. It reminds us of the hope the Jewish people had as they were looking forward to the coming of Jesus, the Messiah. The Bible promised that He would come.

2nd week: The Bethlehem candle. This candle represents the faith of Mary and Joseph as they were in Bethlehem, waiting for Jesus to be born. We too have faith in waiting for Jesus’ return.

3rd week: The Shepherd’s candle. This candle represents the joy and excitement the shepherd’s must have felt when they heard the news that Jesus had been born!

4th week: The Wise Men’s candle. This candle represents justice and peace, reminding us that Jesus came not only to the Jews but to ALL people of every nation, every color and every race.

Christmas Day: The Christ candle. This candle represents the purity of Jesus, as He is the light of salvation. We celebrate His birth, and also remember that he died on the cross to take our punishment, so we can be forgiven of our sins and spend an eternity with Him in heaven one day.

When I ask my children what their most favorite Christmas traditions are, all four of them agree that celebrating Advent is at the top of the list. We make it a cozy time of warmth while ensuring the true meaning of Christmas doesn’t get lost amidst the chaos and frenetic pace of the holiday season.

Tips for celebrating Advent:

  • Turn off (or put away) all distractions.
  • Turn on soft Christmas music.
  • Dim the lights. (we love to have the Christmas lights and lit candles be the only light in the room).
  • Gather together with soft pillows and cozy blankets around the Advent candle lighting.
  • Parents and older kids can take turns each week reading about which candle is being lit and what it represents, as well as lighting the candle itself.

Click here for this free Advent read-aloud quick-reference guide . It will help guide you on what to say as each candle is being lit.

We keep the tradition very simple to ensure:

  • There’s not much prep work.
  • Small children as well as adults can participate.
  • It doesn’t take up a large amount of time.

While our family uses four white candles and one red, there are many other colors you can use to identify the meaning of each week. See more about Advent Candle meanings here.

We also make Advent extra special each week by enjoying a homemade treat like warm cookies with hot chocolate. And while the candle is still lit, I read a heart-nourishing (but short) Christmas story aloud to my kids. (We are currently reading from the book, Stories of Faith for Christmas.)

If you have more time and would like to expand on your Advent celebrations with your kids, you could also do these activities:

As we continue this meaningful tradition every Christmas season, my hope is that one day when my children are grown, the peace of Advent will be deeply embedded within their hearts, so much so that it stirs a longing in their souls to worship Jesus. We were created to rest in His love and peace – let’s soak up all that goodness during the time of Advent, as we wait with sweet anticipation of His coming!

One-On-One ‘Dote Night’ with Your Child | Warmth & Connection in the Home

~ Carole Marie ~ Leave a comment

Family life gets busy. At times it can be so hectic, you haven’t had a chance to have deep conversations or memorable moments with your children, especially when you have more than one child in the home. So how do you ensure you’re consistently connecting with each child to provide affirmation and affection while also meeting their unique needs and love languages? By intentionally doting on your child with a ‘Dote Night’.

Each of my four children look forward to their designated Dote Night once a week. After the other kids have been tucked in, one child gets to stay up late. They love to remind me with a light in their eyes, “Tonight’s my Dote Night!” They choose a special snack, lower the lights and we snuggle on the couch. We’ll watch an age appropriate, wholesome TV show, play a game or read a devotional together. After 20-30 minutes, I ask if there’s anything they’d like to talk to me about. My focus is completely on them. Without other kids around and zero distractions, they feel safe opening up. I ensure they feel heard and valued.

Sometimes our talks are silly and fun with much laughter. Sometimes our talks are deep and heartfelt. Other times, it’s a mix of both. At the end of our discussion, I ask what they would like prayer for. I hold their hand while praying for their requests, then I pray a heart-felt blessing over them. I also express my gratitude to God for the positive things I see in them — their kindness, helpfulness, patience, etc. I thank God out loud for entrusting me to raise such an amazing, wonderful child, then we hug goodnight.

After making that heart-to-heart connection with them, I adore seeing the expression on their face, knowing that their love tank has just been filled up — filled up and overflowing.

Tips for a great Dote Night:

  • Speak positively to your child – this is not the time to point out that they forgot to take out the garbage.
  • Plan in advance a selection of wholesome, age appropriate TV shows or games for them to choose from. We’ve enjoyed watching episodes of the Andy Griffith Show, as there is often a moral or lesson that can be discussed afterwards. One of our favorite two-person games is Mancala.
  • Purchase or make special snacks to keep ready for Dote Night. We have certain treats that are reserved only for this time, and the kids all know they aren’t allowed to pull anything from the Dote Night shelf unless it’s their special night.  My kids like having choices, so I keep a variety of snacks to choose from like popcorn, dried fruit, pub mix, frozen treats, packets of hot chocolate, homemade cookies, trail mix, etc.  I don’t offer anything with caffeine.  And while I prefer to avoid sugar, especially just before bedtime, I’ll make an exception once in a while.
  • Create a comfortable space. Get blankets and pillows — anything to provide comfort and coziness.
  • Touch is vital. Sit shoulder-to-shoulder, rub their back, hold their hand (granted, teens may not always be comfortable with this but the younger ones will be more open).
  • Togetherness. Spend 20-30 minutes watching the show, playing a game or reading a devotional together, while eating snacks.
  • Be open to good conversations. After the 20-30 minutes is over, this is where the conversation begins. For older teens, discuss the choices (good or bad) the characters in the show made. Ask your child their opinion and why they feel that way (again, this is not a time to correct them and is a great way to learn about their thinking habits). This can easily morph into discussions about their own friends, school, etc.  For younger kids, ask them about their favorite part of the day, etc. Be open to any type of discussion.
  • Listen. Focus on what they are saying. Make eye contact. When they realize it’s safe to share and you are really listening, they will open up more.
  • Affirm your child. Through your discussion, find ways to affirm your child using positive words such as, “You are such a good friend.”,  “That was a very mature way to handle that situation, I’m proud of you.”, and  “That must have been tough, but I like that you kept such a positive attitude during the entire day.”  Speak out the things you love about them – their physical characteristics, social skills, emotional maturity. Say it with a soft and caring voice. Ensure your face is expressing ‘looks of love’. They will remember these words for the rest of their lives.
  • Pray. Tell them you’d like to pray over them. Pray about any problems, issues or concerns they shared. They’ll know you were listening earlier. Then ask if there is anything else they would like prayer for (this may stir up more conversations). Follow up on earlier pray requests to see if anything has been resolved or still needs prayer (keep a notebook if needed).
  • Wrap it up. After the prayer, clean up, then give your child a warm bear hug goodnight and tell them again that you love them.

With older kids, go deeper with questions:

  • Ask them if they have any needs that aren’t being met (e.g. clothes, food, needing more time with you.) I found out once that my son was very irritated over the lack of shorts in his drawer – I wasn’t even aware he needed more because the drawer was so full. It turned out that most of the shorts didn’t fit him right.
  • Ask them if there is anything at home that is frustrating them and if it’s something you can help with. Or is there anything you are doing as a parent that you could be doing better? Careful with this one – be sure you’re open to criticism and willing to hear their honest opinion without getting defensive. I don’t ask this question when I feel stretched too thin or not in the best mood.
  • It’s a great time to follow-up on last week’s discussions and prayer requests (you may want to keep a journal to jot things down later, then you can refer back to it just before their designated Dote Night).

While temporarily caring for a foster child, I was providing Dote Nights five nights a week.  Then when an at-risk teen also moved in, who wanted a Dote Night as well, I realized as a single working mom I needed to carve out a night to dote on myself to ensure my own needs were being met (such as a hot bath, extended prayer/worship, etc.) Fortunately, my daughters are old enough to watch the younger boys, which allowed me this treasured quiet time.

In the end, it may not always feel like you’ve connected well with your child, or perhaps the warm fuzzies aren’t there — but being consistent is important. You are providing connection, building emotional trust, increasing their inner growth, and sustaining their mental health. When something happens in their lives, they know they can count on Dote Night to be a time they have your undivided attention to talk if there haven’t been any natural opportunities. It is so worth the time, effort and investment. We love our Dote Nights of expressing excessive love and fondness, and we hope you enjoy your Dote Nights too!

Friday Night Fun – Favorite Board Games | Hospitality in the Home | Family Connection

~ Carole Marie ~ Leave a comment

One of our favorite activities to enjoy with guests is to play a game after enjoying a meal together.  Besides having fun and building connection, there are other great benefits to board games as well, such as:

  • Improving memory and cognitive skills
  • Reducing stress
  • Child development
  • Offers opportunities for learning
  • Sharpens focus
  • Teaches the value of teamwork
  • Laughter and memory making!

We’re not competitive when we play, we simply enjoy the process of good gaming together. One of our Christmas traditions is to buy a new game early in December and play it throughout the month. Over the years, we’ve accumulated quite a few games and have identified our favorites.

When we have a large group of people in our home, we’ve found these two games to be the most enjoyable for everyone, young and old, while still allowing for lots of chatter and side conversations:

When we have six to eight players, we’ll pull out these games:

For up to five players, we enjoy:

For up to four players, we enjoy:

As we continue to add more games to our collection each year, I’ll update this list when we discover more games worth mentioning. This Friday night, we’ll be pulling out a game to enjoy together and I’m hoping you’ll do the same!